
If you sense
your owner plans to move, be on your best behaviour. Revive those terminally
cute poses you used to get yourself adopted. Let your owner sleep past
5 AM. Keep your paws out of your owner's hair. Use the litterbox religiously.
If you must throw up, head for the bathroom and skip the windowsills.
You do not want your owner to entertain thoughts like, "I don't want
to ruin the beautiful floors in our new home," or, "You know,
it's really hard to rent an apartment when you have a cat."
Here's a great
game. Jump into an empty box, stick your head out and hold the pose while
your owner runs around looking for a camera. As soon as she appears, finger
on snap button, turn around and point your tail at the camera.
You'll learn some new cuss words, guaranteed.
The arrival
of the moving van is your cue to hide. You can have lots of fun with this
one. Your owner will run around frantically, cursing the movers: "You
idiots! You left the door open! Now little Furball is gone forever!"
After they've wasted an hour running around the neighbourhood, appear
out of nowhere and begin to wash. When they shriek, "Oh there she
is!" and try to hug you, summon an aloof glare and wash your face
again.
Bonus tip: If you really want to freak them out, hide in your cat carrier.
As you begin
your twelve-hour drive, remember that your owners would rather listen
to your yowling than to the latest tapes or the local weather and news.
Keep it up!
Demand a sandbox
break as soon as your owner begins driving on a road where it is absolutely
impossible to pull over. A narrow bridge with bumper-to-bumper traffic
is a good choice.
Motel etiquette
calls for you to sit in the window, looking absolutely adorable. Encourage
passers-by to tap on the glass at all hours, especially if your owner
has forgotten to draw the curtains.
If you suspect your owners have snuck you into the room without checking,
begin yowling as soon as they try to move you to a more secluded spot.
When it's time
to hit the road at 6 AM, you don't want to be found. If you can position
yourself under the queensize bed, out of reach of your owner's arms, you
can delay everyone's travel plans for a good half hour. The award for
the most creative hiding place goes to the feline who wedged herself between
mattress cover and springs.
Caution: This only works if your owner really adores you. If you can't
be found in twenty minutes, you might be looking for a new home.
Insist on being
present when boxes are unpacked. Jump into each box to make sure the contents
arrived safely. If your owners lock you into the bathroom "so kitty
can't escape," use the opportunity to practice your singing. The
movers need entertainment, too.
Demand to test
each windowsill of the new home. If you still have claws, test the curtains
to see if they'll hold your weight. Fifteen pounds? Should be no problem.
Regardless, those miniblinds offer limitless opportunities for new versions
of torture-the-owner. How many can you bend? How about breaking off a
little hole for your head to peek through? Cute.
Encourage
your owner to get a dog. You may never have to move again. "Honey,
we can't move. We could never afford another place where Spot could have
a yard."
Loretta lives with her fellow feline Tiger and their human Cathy
Goodwin who is a career coach, writer and speaker, specializing in
career, relocation and life transitions. Cathy has written a book on relocation
that includes advice for moving with cats: Making the Big Move: How to
transform relocation into a creative life transition, New Harbinger 1999.
You can find them all at www.movinglady.com.
|