I have discovered another method and found it to be remarkable effective on my own humans.

Interesting Smells

One of my humans was using the phone once and I was curious to examine this device so I went over and had a good sniff. Much to my surprise, I found that the area that he had placed near his ear was releasing an odour of sheer ambrosia! I licked it and the taste was as delicious as anything I have ever tried. I licked and licked and simply could not get enough of this wonderful flavour.

Tickle Them!

At first, I assumed that the phone was responsible for this smell and made every effort to investigate other phones. However, I soon discovered that it was my human's ear which was responsible for the smell and that the phone was just the unwitting recipient of the smell via transferrence. With this knowledge, I soon determined a way to satiate my hunger for this nectar - which my human calls ear wax - AND assure an early feeding from my human: if I jump on to his bed in the morning and begin licking out all accessible wax, he immediately squirms and giggles. He says my licking tickles him - presumably due to my very full whiskers - and he can only endure a few seconds before begging for mercy. At this point, I am generally so enraptured that I don't notice what he is saying and continue licking. In only a few more seconds, he is invariably on his feet racing for the kitchen and opening a tin of my favourite food.

Out of curiousity, I have sampled the contents of other humans' ears and generally find them quite tasty as well. It really is a classic win-win situation: if the human is especially tired, I can enjoy a longer session of ear-licking but if I wake him, I am immediately able to enjoy a more conventional breakfast.

Tiger