I have discovered another method and found it to be remarkable
effective on my own humans.
One of my humans was using the phone once and I was curious to
examine this device so I went over and had a good sniff. Much
to my surprise, I found that the area that he had placed near
his ear was releasing an odour of sheer ambrosia! I licked it
and the taste was as delicious as anything I have ever tried.
I licked and licked and simply could not get enough of this wonderful
At first, I assumed that the phone was responsible for this smell
and made every effort to investigate other phones. However, I
soon discovered that it was my human's ear which was responsible
for the smell and that the phone was just the unwitting recipient
of the smell via transferrence. With this knowledge, I soon determined
a way to satiate my hunger for this nectar - which my human calls
ear wax - AND assure an early feeding from my human: if I jump
on to his bed in the morning and begin licking out all accessible
wax, he immediately squirms and giggles. He says my licking tickles
him - presumably due to my very full whiskers - and he can only
endure a few seconds before begging for mercy. At this point,
I am generally so enraptured that I don't notice what he is saying
and continue licking. In only a few more seconds, he is invariably
on his feet racing for the kitchen and opening a tin of my favourite
Out of curiousity, I have sampled the contents of other humans'
ears and generally find them quite tasty as well. It really is
a classic win-win situation: if the human is especially tired,
I can enjoy a longer session of ear-licking but if I wake him,
I am immediately able to enjoy a more conventional breakfast.