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Faeline Felosophy

ChiAs you all know, civilised humans think they live in a three dimensional world of left-right, backwards-forwards and eating-sleeping. Some of the slightly less civilised humans, especially those who live in furrin parts get a bit closer: they believe that they live in a four dimensional environment: left-right, backwards-forwards, up-down and eating-sleeping.

We all know they're crazy, but do they know just how crazy they are? They're five dimensions short of a good life! No wonder they have so much trouble understanding the concepts of a multi-dimensional knowledge space.

Hyperspace

Moving around in hyperspace is a trivial task for us. Since the dawn of time, us faelines have been using nine dimensions as a matter of normal routine. Getting from A to Aleppo via the Great Ziggurat, whilst leaving trail markers along the route to make sure that everyone knows it's your route is so totally trivial that most of us don't bother any more; our mothers teach us that trick when we're about three months old.

Humans - well most of them anyway - have real difficulty keeping track of where they are, let alone where they've been, so of course none of their trips into Hypersace make any scents to them.

There are some exceptions to this. Understanding Hyperspace is very difficult when you are a human of small mind. Us Faelines are better adapted: we can move through space very very easily because only a small part of us is actually here in the space that humans can see. There are one or two more advanced beings who live here too, some of them even masquerade as human.

There's one, masquerading as a human called Nelson, who has been trying to explain N-Space to humans for decades, but they all think he's as crazy as a loon. Now that's crazy; Loon's can only operate in a 3 dimensional space the same as most ordinary humans: the fact that it's a different 3 dimensions is besides the point! Nelson calls his N-Space Xanadu; he hopes to create a pleasure dome of the mind where humans can finally learn to live within more dimensions.

Getting to the point: we Felines know more about Web Space than any other genus on this planet today. We can use it better than any other, and we should not be afraid to explain it's uses and advantages to the poor humans. They've been looking for a way to understand us for thousands of years. We've been telling them for just as long that they will never understand our language unless they speak across at least 5 dimensions. Now's our chance to let them see just how great we really are!

Chi
The Tabby Terror

   


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