Extracts from the Diaries of Two Siamese Lodgers
We are two Siamese brothers called Spock and Dracs. Spock's
on the left in the picture. Normally speaking we live with two
humans called Simon and Simon, but every now and again we go and
stay with their friend Ann. The last time we stayed with Ann,
we decided to keep a diary. We thought we'd give it to the two
Simons when they got back from their holiday.
Ann's quite nimble for her age. It's surprising how quickly she
can move when Dracs is about to be sick. She jumps straight off
the chair, picks up a newspaper and is over to him. All in one
fluid movement. I don't know why she thinks it's such a treat
for him to be sick on a tatty old newspaper. He much prefers the
Here are a couple of extracts...
It gets quite cold once Ann switches the central heating off,
so Spock and I tried sleeping on her bed last night instead of
settling down on the settee like we normally do. Considering how
small she is, for a human, Ann takes up far too much of the bed.
She would insist on stretching out right under the very middle
of the duvet. It took Spock and me half the night to nudge her
over to the edge of the bed so we could get into a comfortable
position ourselves. Ann wanted to know how it is she manages to
find cat litter all over the living room carpet, when our tray's
so big and deep. Had the cheek to ask us if we play football when
we're in it. Has she no shame? As I said to Spock, do we ask her
what the strange noises are when she's in the bathroom? And why
the towels are too wet and soggy to curl up on when she finally
Making the diary
Ann's friends kept calling round while we were with her and she
showed it to them. We weren't too sure why they laughed so much
as they were reading it. We didn't think it was funny; we thought
it was an intellectual masterpiece and we weren't very happy with
them. But then they all said that we should get it printed and
sell it for charity which was quite flattering. We had a talk
with Ann and she said that she would help us. We drew up a business
plan for Ann, gave her lots of instructions and sent her off to
get things moving. Simon's friend Richard did some illustrations
and Ann met somebody called Bruce who did the layout. She also
got in touch with some printers who gave us a special price for
the printing. Then she went around local businesses and clubs
and found sponsors to pay for the printing costs.
We're very pleased with our glossy covered booklet which is
all our own work and which we've managed, single pawed, to produce
entirely free of cost.
"Spock and Dracs the Wilderness Weeks - Extracts from the Diaries
of Two Siamese Lodgers".
Translated and edited by Ann Dickinson.
The ISBN is 0 9535581 0 X and a catalogue record of the book is
available from the British Library. It's also listed in Whitakers.
All the profits are to be given to the Peoples Dispensary for
Sick Animals (PDSA)
Read extracts from their new book The
You can buy a copy from
Or from countrybookshop.co.uk
and they don't charge for postage in the UK.